When I was growing up my family loved debating. Often it was very intense.We would always give our opinion about something even though we were often wrong and would debate to the death. We would call it “speaking our mind,” and my mother would be an expert in this. Often my father would have to tell her, “Mother hold your tongue.” (be quiet)

I have changed a lot but to my regret early on I would often challenge shop keepers who gave me bad service or people who crossed my paths and who I thought were unreasonable. I thought I was right. There have been a lot of regrets but I am now changing.

I was brought up that the Christian doctrines I was taught and ultimately believed in were one hundred percent correct and anybody that disagreed with them needed to study their Bible more. Because of this I would not listen to any alternative view that someone else had to offer. They were wrong..end of discussion was my thinking. Looking back, I am ashamed and embarrassed by how I acted because much of what I believed back in the day, I have changed my views on and realize that much of it was opinion and not important enough to debate vigorously.. I am learning to “hold my tongue”.

There are many controversial topics out there which are not important enough to spend energy on. If it comes to important subjects such as whether Jesus is God or not, whether repentance is needed for salvation, whether we are saved by works or grace,or whether Jesus is the only way to heaven etc I will strongly give my views. These truths which are absolutes are too important to let go. The Bible is clear with no discussion needed. I have also realized there will come a point where I have to stop debating even the truth because continuing on is accomplishing nothing. My thinking is that  if a person I am talking to does not accept what the Bible says on these “absolutes” then I have nothing else to say. I only have the Bible as my proof and can argue till I am blue in the face but if the other person is debating without the Bible as the prime source I have to stop because we will get nowhere. I just pray that the seed I have sown will be taken by the Holy Spirit and one day land on good soil in peoples hearts. So what I am saying in this blog is that there are absolutes. That means there are truths so clear in the Bible that there is no changing my position on, but there are also things which we may believe which are just opinions. We may think they are absolutes as I once did but in reality they are just interpretations and cause division. Both Jesus and Paul faced these problems too. How did they react?

There were groups of people who were preaching out of envy and rivalry with Paul. They were stirring up trouble. Some of Paul’s followers were not happy with what was occurring. What did Paul say? “What does it matter? The important thing is that whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached.” He was saying to those of his supporters “It is okay. You carry on doing what you think is best and don’t worry about the others.”

One day Jesus disciples came and said “We saw a man casting out demons in your name and we told him to stop because he is not one of us.”

Jesus replied “Whoever is not against us is for us.”

In both of these examples people were doing things a little different and it did not fit into what others thought of how it should be done. Although things were being said and done differently both Paul and Jesus both inferred that at least Christ was being preached or mentioned. Does this challenge you? It should do as it has me. Just because you have an idea of how church should act, what the music should be like and how sermons should be preached doesn’t mean to say you are right or the others are wrong. It is just your opinion. God can use any method.

You may have heard of the church called Hillsong. A well known church worldwide. When I lived in Sydney the main headquarters of Hillsong was only 30 min away. Many went to this church. They produced a lot of worship songs which are still being sung in churches. The services had loud music, lights and a huge complex. It was not something I would care to attend but thousands of mainly young people heard about Jesus every week. People were being saved and learning about God. I never attended because it did not suit me. I sometimes challenged myself as to whether I had the right to criticize the way it was conducting the services because I didn’t like it. God told me that it was none of my business and if I did not like it then I did not have to go. People were worshiping God and being saved so I had no right to say something just because the church did not suit me.

In my early days I along with many others would criticize churches for having pastors. I would criticize churches for the songs they sang, for having musical instruments. etc. God said to me that if a church was preaching false doctrine I had every right to challenge them but anything else was not my concern. It was a lesson I had to learn.

I go to a home group every week and there are people from different denominations who attend. Some are Christians who do not attend church for various reasons. Some have different views. At times an opinion is expressed that certain people may not agree with. Guess what we do? We “hold our tongues”. It is more important to keep relationships, to learn to be patient with one another, to show love than to cause disputes which breaks the body of Christ. What we may disagree on are usually not important enough to make a big deal of.

Here are some examples that to me are not worth arguing about. I have my views and may think differently and at times express them but they are not absolutes that are going to affect a persons salvation. They are opinions.

Nothing wrong with expressing an opinion but to force that opinion on people as if it was truth is dangerous. I am finding it is good to listen, to say what I need to say, but then learn when it is time to withdraw ourselves from the situation and hold our tongue. Remember that when Jesus was being crucified it said that he “remained silent”. He had every right to expose them, to speak out but he chose not to. That is an example to us all.

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