Can joy and pain work together?

I have been thinking about how it is possible to feel joy when everything around me is falling apart. We have Bible verses that say, “Rejoice in the Lord always,” or “Be happy in tribulation,” but how can that happen? I was reading in Habakkuk chapter 3, where it says that if your crops fail, if your farm loses money, if there is no fruit on the trees in the orchard, if you work hard growing your grapes and nothing happens and you have wasted your time, we should “rejoice in the Lord.” Do you know how we can do that, because I am struggling.

If I get seriously injured, can I rejoice in the Lord? If I get sick, or lose a child, can I rejoice in the Lord? I know people who have gotten through this, and they thank God later on for what has happened, but they must be superhuman in my opinion. Just like many of you, I have been in such a position as this, and because I am not superhuman or super spiritual, it was not easy to be happy. I found it very difficult when my daughter and her husband, the cult leaders, told me not to return to the church, and my daughter (the pastor) wrote me a letter disowning me and never wanting anything to do with me again. She wrote a 24-page letter (rant ) on how bad I was. It was difficult having my three grandchildren come to me the night before I left the cult, saying that I was not a Christian and was going to hell because I opposed their mothers’ calling. They said they did not want anything to do with me. It was difficult when my wife of 48 years supported the cult’s views and said that she did not want anything to do with me, and then refused to say “goodbye” and take me to the train station to go to the airport. Was I supposed to jump around the room dancing and praising God because I was so happy? Was I supposed to be joyful as the Bible says?  I mention these things not for sympathy but to prove a point: I can talk about these things to you after experiencing situations that I find hard to be joyful in.

So how can we have joy and rejoice when things are in turmoil and even hurt us? I did some research that has helped me understand what the Bible means when it tells us to rejoice.

I found that the words translated from the Greek to English in our Bible tell me that the real meaning of the word “joy” is this: “A deep spiritual state rather than a temporal emotional feeling. It is not forced happiness.” Last week the New Zealand Rugby team played against Australia. My three brothers and I met at our youngest brother’s home to watch the game on television. Of course we wanted New Zealand to win but were not 100 percent sure they would. As we watched the game and New Zealand scored points, we would jump off the chair, yell with our voices, and slap each other on the back. Why? Because we were happy; we were full of joy. Would we have been like that if New Zealand had lost? No, we would have been angry, bitter, and wished we had not watched the game. For all my Aussie readers who do not know, New Zealand won. We were on an emotional high for the rest of the night. When things go wrong, we will not have the emotional joy, but we can have joy right at the bottom of our hearts in knowing that although disaster is taking place, God is still in control. We need to remember that joy is not a denial of pain, but it is rooted in God, not circumstances. In my situation, I did not deny the pain I was in. Did I understand at that time? “No,” but I had joy deep down, although I was not conscious of it at the time. It was only later that I could see what God was allowing to happen, and the joy I had, which was hidden, began revealing itself. The pain can still be there, and so can the joy. They can actually work together. Do I have pain that I may not see my wife, daughter, or grandchildren again? Of course I do. They are my flesh and blood, but the joy is still there, knowing that God is in control. It is what is getting me through. Do I feel like yelling “Hallelujah”? No, but I feel at peace that God knows what he is doing, and that gives me the joy.

There is a verse in Hebrews that says when Jesus was thinking about going to the cross, “For the joy that was set before him.”  Was Jesus jumping for joy that he was going to the cross to be crucified and die? No, because in the gospels he prayed to God, asking, if it was possible, God would stop it. But he had joy because, although he knew what he was going to go through due to the brutality of a Roman crucifixion, he had joy deep down, knowing he knew his Father God was with him through the whole process.

So we can thank God in the mess, but not for it.

We need to differentiate between emotional joy and real joy, and although there is a difference, I find it hard to explain. If my child or a family member is addicted to drugs, how can I be joyful? If my small child has cancer, how can I be joyful? Humanly speaking, I can’t, but the Bible says, “rejoice always,” and I need to trust that God knows what he is saying.

Here is an explanation I read: “God’s joy shows out in us during bad situations as a supernatural fruit of the Spirit rather than a forced smile or an emotional denial of pain. It lives deeper than temporary circumstances, allowing believers to experience sorrow and joy at the same time.”

I think I am starting to get it. If I trust God in all my circumstances, whether good or bad, to come through for me, or if I believe the Bible when it says that everything works out for the good of those who trust God, then I can have joy.

When I was 12 or 13, I was walking home in the dark from a church prayer meeting. A car was driving along that road and swerved toward me, almost hitting me. Being a policeman’s son and still having a good memory, I remembered the car’s registration plate, and as I was not far from home, I ran and told my father. He followed it through, and the person was prosecuted. Was I full of joy that the person tried to run me over? I was petrified, but I had joy deep down that when I returned home, my father would do something about it. I trusted him. I’m not sure whether that illustration helps, but we do have a Father who knows what is happening and can have deep-down joy that will come out at a later time—that the God in the good times is the same God in the bad and difficult times.

“Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labour of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls—yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.” Habbakuk 3:17–18.

The joy is in us, so let’s recognize it and try to find it when we are going through the valley. You may not be able to see God in the dark, but he has promised to be right beside you. Fully trust him, and you will at some time feel the joy.